I devote considerable time to pondering one of the great mysteries of life: If I were a contestant on “Jeopardy,” which anecdotes would I share?
Those familiar with the popular television game show of answers and questions know all about the mid-game interviews during which contestants tell brief personal stories. Some funny, some poignant and some downright cringeworthy.
According to what I’ve gleaned from internet research, “Jeopardy” contestants complete lengthy questionnaires before taping and answer a series of leading questions. Coordinators review the replies to select the most engaging prospects for anecdotes.
Think topics also covered in first-date conversations: childhood experiences, college majors and favorite hobbies. When contestants prevail in a series of games and amass winnings, they’re invariably asked what they plan to do with their money.
Despite the vetting process, some of the anecdotes shared on “Jeopardy” come across as mundane. One contestant recalled a trip to Paris, but then went on to describe his jet-lagged confusion over whether it was the sun or moon shining in the sky. Jamie Ding, a 31-game champion, explained in one episode why orange is his favorite color. It’s not because he’s a Denver Broncos fan.
A few anecdotes turn bizarre, among them the chilling account of a contestant who knew a middle school hall monitor who was later convicted for a string of murders and buried the bodies under his house. Then there was the strange tale of a funeral for a scary ham that moldered 20 years in a damp Ohio basement. In the immortal words of the late great humor columnist Dave Barry: I am not making this up.
I am, however, wondering what kind of anecdotes I’d offer. Laugh-inducing or laughable? Titillating or tiresome? Inspiring or insipid?
A trip down memory lane might evoke some possibilities. So could an accounting of cherished accomplishments. Yet, memories and achievements frequently fall short of capturing what’s truly important.
Sure, I’ve got a few stories from a nearly 50-year career as a newspaper reporter and editor. I interviewed Major League Baseball players, Olympic gymnasts and the founders of corporations with household names. I covered a myriad of events featuring governors, congressmen and two U.S. presidents. In reporting a story about safety training for linemen, I was instructed to latch barehanded onto an energized high-voltage transmission line. To my relief, the experience wasn’t the least shocking.
As an avid scuba diver, I’ve been fortunate to explore reefs and wrecks around the world. I watched sharks and barracudas parade past Blue Corner in Palau. I glided over the ragged remains of a Soviet-built frigate scuttled off the coast of Cayman Brac.
There’ve been other adventures over land. A vertiginous climb up Angels Landing in Zion National Park and wearying walk down to Plateau Point in the Grand Canyon.
As a short story writer and novelist, I’ve conjured tales about haunted creek bottoms and avenging pizza makers. My alter ego, a small town journalist named Tucker Preston, searches for truth and treasure in a series of mysteries set in the rugged northwest corner of Colorado.
Of course, the best anecdotes of all result from the most rewarding experiences. For me, those are the blessings of sharing this amazing real life with family, friends and the remarkable woman who agreed to my awkward marriage proposal.
In retrospect, I have lots of anecdotes to share on “Jeopardy.” Nothing about favorite colors or serial killers or scary hams. Maybe something about life, liberty and the gratifying pursuit of happiness.
At a minimum, I’ve got at least one anecdote shoved into my proverbial hip pocket in the unlikely event Ken Jennings, the 74-game winner turned host of “Jeopardy,” asks this retired newspaperman originally from eastern Colorado.
“That’s right, Ken. My anecdote is about anecdotes.”